By: Dmitriy Borshchak
So you’ve been fighting with your partner more than actually enjoying each other’s company. The thought of divorce has crossed your mind more than once recently. How do you know if it’s time to call it quits? Maybe the love just isn’t there anymore. Or perhaps you feel like you’ve grown apart and want different things. It’s not an easy decision, but staying in an unhappy marriage can be even harder.
If you’re constantly arguing over small things, don’t feel supported, or have betrayed each other’s trust, the relationship may be broken beyond repair. However, divorce also brings life-changing challenges, so it’s important not to rush into anything. But don’t stay just for the kids or because it’s comfortable either. Life is short, and you deserve to be in a healthy relationship where you feel loved and respected.
So how do you know if divorce is the right choice for you? Here are some signs it may be time to start consulting with a marriage counsellor or a Columbus OH Divorce Attorney.
You’ve Tried Counseling and Open Communication but Nothing Has Changed
You’ve tried marriage counselling, openly communicating about your feelings, needs and desires, and compromising when you can, but ultimately nothing has really changed. The same issues that have been plaguing your marriage are still there, like a thorn in your side that you can’t quite reach to pull out. At some point, you have to consider that divorce may be the healthiest option for you both.
• The lack of intimacy and affection has become your normal. You feel more like roommates than spouses. Rekindling that spark seems impossible.
• Repeated betrayals of trust are hard to come back from. Broken promises and dishonesty have damaged the foundation of your relationship.
• Constant arguing and fighting about the same things, with the same unresolved outcome. You’re emotionally drained and the frustration just continues to build.
• Feeling disrespected, unheard and undervalued by your partner. Your self-esteem and confidence have been worn down over time.
• Diverging life goals and visions for the future that you can’t reconcile. You want different things and are no longer able to support each other’s dreams.
When you’ve truly given marriage your best shot through open communication, compromise, and counselling to no avail, it may be time to consider ending things once and for all. A divorce will allow you both to pursue more fulfilling relationships where your needs are being met, your values aligned, and you feel loved, respected, and cared for. Though the process won’t be easy, finding that happiness and inner peace again will make it worthwhile. At some point, you have to choose yourself.
Your Values and Life Goals No Longer Align
When your core values and life goals no longer align with your partner’s, it may be time to call it quits. A marriage needs a strong foundation of shared principles and visions for the future to thrive. If you’ve grown apart in these fundamental ways, the differences can be difficult to reconcile.
Maybe you value things like adventure, spontaneity, and new experiences, while your spouse craves stability, predictability, and routine. Or perhaps you have a more traditional view of gender roles in the relationship and household responsibilities, but your partner believes in a more progressive sharing of duties. Possibly you differ in your views on religion, politics, or childrearing.
Over time, diverging values and life goals can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and loneliness. You may find yourself constantly compromising in ways that make you feel unfulfilled and unhappy. As much as you want to make the relationship work, you realize you’ve become incompatible in the most basic sense.
The decision to end a marriage is never easy, but sometimes choosing divorce is the healthiest option. Staying in an incompatible union can be emotionally and psychologically damaging for both partners in the long run. Although it will still be difficult, divorcing to pursue more compatible relationships may lead to greater happiness and life satisfaction for all involved.
If after reflection and perhaps relationship counseling you determine your core values and life goals can no longer co-exist under the same roof, it may indeed be time to call it quits. As hard as it is, divorcing to find more compatible life partners could open up new doors to purpose and meaning for each of you.
The Relationship Is Emotionally and/or Physically Unhealthy or Abusive
If your relationship causes you constant emotional pain, stress, or anxiety, it may be time to consider ending it. Some signs it’s unhealthy:
- Your partner puts you down, calls you names, or makes you feel worthless.
- They try to control where you go, who you see, how you act, or what you wear.
- They pressure or force you into sexual activities you don’t consent to.
- They threaten to hurt you, your loved ones, or your pets.
- You feel fearful, trapped, or in danger.
Life is too short to stay in a harmful relationship. You deserve to feel safe and happy. Leaving may be difficult, but there are resources to help.
Reach out for support
Tell people you trust about the situation and ask for help. Call emergency services if you’re in immediate danger. Seek assistance from authorities or call a domestic abuse helpline. Build your independence by opening a separate bank account and having essential belongings ready in case you need to leave quickly.
Plan your exit strategy
If living together, figure out where you will stay. Gather copies of important documents, keys, and valuables when your partner won’t notice. Change all online passwords and lock down social media privacy settings. Have a bag packed in case you need to leave abruptly.
Consider legal options
You may want to file a restraining order to prevent further abuse. Speaking to a lawyer about your rights and options regarding separation or divorce is advisable. Document any incidents of abuse in case you need evidence to support your claims.
Leaving an unhealthy relationship is difficult but courageous. You have the strength and there are people and resources to help you. Choose to value yourself – you deserve to be in a nurturing relationship where you feel respected and secure. The hard part is taking that first step. Have hope – there is a better life waiting for you on the other side.
So in the end, you have to trust your instincts. If you’ve tried your best to work through the challenges and reconnect but you’re still unhappy more often than not, it may be time to call it quits. Don’t feel guilty – a divorce doesn’t mean you’ve failed, just that this relationship has run its course. The most important thing is your well-being and happiness. While ending a marriage is difficult, choosing to move on can be empowering. If you do decide to take that step, surround yourself with your closest friends and family, be kind to yourself through the process, and try to maintain an optimistic outlook. The next chapter of your life awaits, and there are more opportunities for joy and fulfilment ahead!
Law Office of Dmitriy Borshchak
About The Author
Dmitriy Borshchak is a dedicated Columbus family lawyer and founding attorney of The Law Office of Dmitriy Borshchak. At the firm, he regularly assists clients with a broad range of complex legal matters, including divorce, child custody, spousal support, and much more. No matter how complex or difficult your case may be, Dmitriy takes the time to listen to your story and learn about your goals. He draws on his own personal experience with the family law system in order to provide you with compassionate guidance and methodical strategies designed to help you secure the best outcome possible.